Reflections on Wild: Cheryl Strayed’s journey through the wilderness
One of my absolute favorite films, especially as relates to survival and self-discovery, is Wild (2014), adapted from the novel by Cheryl Strayed as she chronicles the turning point in her life in which she decides to hike the Pacific Crest Trail as a novice backpacker. She does this to prove something to herself, and at the outset, can’t name exactly what besides a desire to break cycles that weren’t working.
This entire post will be a spoiler alert, so unless you know the book or film already, or are cool with that, proceed with caution.
Across the film, she meets many parts of herself, confronting completely new situations and mustering new levels of self-reliance, in the process repairing her relationship to herself.
There are so many memorable scenes, though I’ve chosen just three to highlight here.
Lightening the load we carry: A compassionate stranger offers support
Cheryl makes it to Kennedy Meadows, nearly a herculean effort given the size of her backpack stuffed with too many supplies she didn’t realize she never needed as a novice. A well intentioned trail stranger asks if they could take a look together to narrow only to what she needs, and having learned the tough way, she willingly accepts his guidance.
It’s no mistake that the breaking point comes after we’ve grappled too long with a burden or baggage (in this case, literally) that we begin to believe there has to be a better way perhaps without knowing what that might be. Not everyone who is willing to offer guidance or wisdom is actually amazing at giving it, so it’s essential to assess if this person feels like someone who you can trust. Without seeking or being open to receiving support, we can prolong unnecessary struggle or increase its intensity. Sometimes being overly committed to self-reliance is naïve and irresponsible when the antidote to our struggle actually takes some humility and active listening to be open to a new perspective.
Rejecting support could be resistance or wisdom: The therapy scene
The right constellation of conditions need to come into alignment to find a therapeutic dynamic that can lead to breakthrough results, and those conditions can be specific to each individual. There’s a scene where Cheryl has a flashback to a session with a therapist, and in the conversation they get right to it. While the therapist is asking excellent open-ended questions, mirroring back her reality with intensity, Cheryl quickly becomes defensive and offended and eventually storms out of the session. While the therapist in the scene seemed present and intelligent, his emotional flatness did not evidence compassion and his challenging questions definitely were not seeing traction with her. Trust must always be earned, not expected, and when present it often underlies some of the biggest insights or breakthroughs that otherwise could never have been forced. Of course, from the client’s perspective, finding the emotional readiness to bravely confront themes and finding a practitioner who evidences they can meet you where you are are both important. Cheryl’s choice to reject support in this scene is layered in complexity: Was she ready to confront her past in that moment? Was this particular therapist the right match? What might have played out differently to create a different outcome? Sometimes honoring your instincts and rejecting support under less-than-ideal circumstances can be a form of wisdom all its own.
Unearthing vitality and authentic drive: Heart-to-heart with her mom
There’s a flashback scene in the film where Cheryl is in the car with her mother, who confesses she’s felt like she’s “never been in the driver’s seat of [her] own life” after receiving a terminal cancer diagnosis. This moment haunts Cheryl, whose immense grief and frustration at her mother’s untimely passing has been revealed to be the biggest driver of her addictions to heroin and casual sex. Focusing on the powerlessness of what has happened to her mother, the abrupt loss of the person she held dearest, was what propelled these coping mechanisms. Through the course of her journey she transmutes this grief, and this tragic loss becomes fuel for Cheryl to live out the life she absolutely deserves—the life that she may have only ever woken up to as a result of being confronted with the reality that her mother didn’t fully seize the opportunity. What was devastation becomes inspiration, reconnecting her to who she’s meant to be. So powerful.
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A final note
Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts on these scenes that made such an impact on me. I hope these contents find you where you are on your healing journey, perhaps sparking some reflections of your own. May we have the courage to rewrite our stories, and the strength to endure hardships so we may come to know ourselves more deeply.
